It seems that every successful Hollywood franchise from both Film and Television is making the transition to the world of Adult Entertainment these days with some sort of porn spinoff. Whether these remakes of original films are actually entertaining or even mildly successful can be anybody’s guess but what ‘is’ entertaining is displaying some of our favourites right here for you to read and enjoy. So here’s a list in no particular order of some of our favourite porn remakes of original titles.

#1 BEVERLY HILLS 9021-HO!

Somehow I don’t remember a lot of black dudes roaming around in Beverly Hills in real life or in the TV show but in this film it’s all about the black guys getting it on with white rich bitches. What it has in common with the actual tv show is less to be desired but on the bright side you get to see some cool interracial relations.



#2 EDWARD PENISHANDS

The thought of seeing Edward Scissorhands try his luck in porn makes me cringe not only for the fact that the guy is ugly but what could possibly happen when his clawed fingers come in contact with somebody else’s flesh,ouch!. The film surprisingly tries to tackle some of the original film with humour and love displayed throughout it but the real treat of this film is how the production team managed to capture the special effects of Edward much in the same way that Tim Burton did for the original.

You also know when a porn remake is good when the actor himself comments positively about it. It’s nice to know that Johnny Depp has a sense of humor about his porn alter ego: “It was low budget and cheesy, but it was hilarious to watch. Those hands…they served him well.”

#3 DUDE, WHERE’S MY DILDO ?

Shay and her friend wake up in a strange house where they partied hardy the night before. Neither girl can find Shay’s prized dildo. The girls can’t leave until they find the pieces to the puzzle that will lead them to the dildo. Surprisingly, this film made more sense to me than the original. It follows the same plot as the original and replaces Ashton and Sean with a bunch of hot chicks. I’ll take the hot chicks over those 2 dudes on any day and recommend this flick rather than the original.



#4 WHORE OF THE RINGS

I’m not quite sure what the Lord of The Rings has to do with anal sex but apparently it’s all that these characters while not in search of their precious ring. The storyline is pretty much the same with some nice special effects that they actually attempted to add in to it to spice it up a bit. Instead of an old white wizard you get a refreshingly hot redhead in Kylie Ireland to make this film more interesting.



#5 THE 69TH SENSE

I see Naked People. Dr. Dick Harden is a psychologist whose beautiful patient Jenny “sees horny people”. More specifically, she sees horny dead people. She has the 69th sense – the ability to see people who have not yet moved on because they have not yet fulfilled their deepest sexual fantasies. It’s up to Jenny to help these people get the lay of their afterlife and it’s up to Dr. Harden to help her do it. Umm, I think my first question would be ‘How the heck do dead people have sex with each other?’ Actually,no, that was my only question. Are they like ghosts or something?



#6 TEXAS DILDO MASQUERADE

Apparently a bunch of youths run out of gas near an old abandoned house. Sound familiar? I don’t know what I’m supposed to be more afraid of in this flick, the so-called monster or Ron Jeremy being described as one of the youths. Apparently this house has a monster by the name of Pussyface in it (i ain’t making this up folks), and attacks the youths with a saw equipped with a dildo on the front of it. The rest of the film loosely follows the original with our heroine (Tabitha Stevens) trying to evade Pussyface only to learn that the whole town are crazy and horny as well.



#7 AMERICAN BOOTY

Midori is a bored housewife who longs for more excitement in her life. She fantasizes about her sexy neighbor: Monique with her endless supply of men. When Monique rents out her spare rooms to some studs from grad school, Midori gives in to her desires and discovers the pleasure of the good neighbor policy. Well, after reading that description, we’ve found our first porn flick that has absolutely nothing in common at all with the original film. Still, the name of the porno title is quite catchy don’t ya think?



#8 AUSTIN PROWLER

It’s a spoof of a spoof! The only difference between this film and the original is that our hero spy is now black and we actually get to see him really get it on with his female interests. Formerly Britain’s top secret agent from the 1960’s, Austin Prowler had been cryogenically frozen and is brought back in 1999 to save the world from the Evil Doctor Pussy.With a huge black cock, and Afro to match, Austin Prowler is the ultimate gentleman spy – irresistible to woman and unbeatable to evil-doers.But has Austin met his match when he takes on Doctor Pussy’s Robot slut known only as the Insatiable Super Vixen?



#9 THE OZPORNS

Apparently Ozzy has now been changed to Izzy and one of his kids is now in the porn business. The formula is similar to the show with close ups on each family member detailing what they think of each situation that unfolds throughout the episode. I don’t recall them having a hot nanny on the tv show but they certainly have one now. This one probably has the most marketing out of all the films so far with Ozzy himself watching it and joking with his friends that his family had been turned into an adult film on the real version of the show ‘The Osbournes’.



#10 PLANET OF THE BABES

This film is the remake of the planet of the apes series except instead of apes the planet is now inhabited by beautiful women. The women capture a astronaut who came to their planet and the only way that he can escape is from the help of two nice women. Luckily we get to not see any apes going at it and no bananas this time around. The one upside is that at least Asia Carrera is in this bad remake.

(Thanks to various adult related websites for some of the information)

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