There’s no better gift during the holidays then to give money to a fake charity organization. Care4Less.org simplifies this process by putting together eight, worthy, fictitious causes for you to choose from such as Fathers4Mosquitoes and the Make-A-Sandwich-Foundation. We enjoyed the idea very much but thought that there were far too few charity names and ideas given on the website. We did some brainstorming and wondered what types of fake charity organizations we could come up with on our own. Here’s a short list of charitable organizations that you can help that will try to make the world a better place…

-This is a great charity that is a partnership between USA and Canadian politicians. It was started by ‘Former’ Toronto mayor Rob Ford as a way to give back to his fellow politicians and help them get the treatment that they deserve. Rob worked closely with the Betty Ford center after he was treated as a patient at the clinic. At the clinic, Ford learned about fiscal responsibility and how to avoid speaking in a foreign accent while intoxicated. Alcoholics, addicts, and their loved ones who require alcohol treatment or drug treatment begin the exciting journey to a new life at the Betty Ford Center. Once you finish your treatment at the Betty Ford Center, this charity helps to get you full-time employment by working at a the Ford Motor Company. You’ll be able to help put together new and exciting automobiles while also helping out the local Detroit economy and help them recover from the pitfalls of bankruptcy.

-There’s nothing more embarrassing than being a professional athlete and having a fan come up and ask for an autograph when you don’t have a sharpie on hand. Athletes have many things that need to be autographed such as footballs, t-shirts, baseball caps and breasts. Today, sharpies are the preferred autograph marker of athletes. Sure, athletes like David Beckham endorse sharpies but what about the little guy? What about the freestyle champion at your local swim meet? What about the kid who did an insane stunt on the half pipe and deserves instant recognition? We want to make sure that no athlete goes empty handed when it comes time to sign a signature that is barely recognizable and who most fans won’t have a clue whose name is permanently stained on their favorite sports collectible in 10-15 years from now. This charity sets up local donation boxes at your local community sports arenas so that fans can donate used and new sharpies for athletes who don’t have the time or patience to go into their local office supply store and pick up a dozen or more at a discount price.

-Most strippers surveyed in a recent fake newspaper column stated that the only reason that they became strippers was to help pay for college and dental school where they want to become dental hygienists. We try to help move these undesirables away from the stripping profession so that other more dedicated strippers can replace them and truly work at improving their stripping skills and honing in on their craft. This charity sets up local fundraising efforts at the strip club by offering free pancake breakfasts as well as 50% lapdances if you purchase 3 or more dances during the night. Each single dollar bills will go towards the dental school of choice for the stripper in order to help them get the education that they deserve.

-This is a charity that is done on a volunteer basis in order to try and stop crappy volunteers from making situations worse in 3rd world countries. When we asked a young child in an impoverished neighborhood how he felt, he told us ‘These volunteers come to our little town and do a crappy job at building houses and schools for us.’ He continues and goes on to say that the volunteers don’t know any basic carpentry or renovation skills and the roof of his home nearly caved in and killed his chickens. Another man in the village said that the townspeople are very good at doing labor and using tools and had a laugh when one volunteer asked him if he knew what a hammer was. He went on to say that most poor people aren’t stupid and are poor because they have no money and resources. They’re quite handy at fixing things themselves and simply need the proper materials and tools to do the jobs themselves. They don’t need some preppy college kid with a computer science degree to come over to their town and has no clue how to use a saw to cut any wood. Every donation will go towards making sure that these dumb idiots stay in the suburbs and that resources and money flow to the people to help rebuild their communities on their own.

-Movie director Uwe Boll has made some less than entertaining films. Some would say that they are god awful movies. Boll is aware of this and understands the pain and suffering that he has caused for many generations of film buffs. Boll has found a new career that he enjoys and that is training people to become professional boxers. He got the idea after needing to learn self-defense skills in order to avoid getting punched by angry consumers who wanted their money back from his shitty films. It turns out that Boll is quite a skilled boxer and wants to help and teach others what he already knows. Unfortunately, Boll is in financial debt after being successfully sued by moviegoers who filed a class action lawsuit demanding a refund for his films and won a settlement in court. The charity’s goal is to get people to sign up for a movie streaming service like Netflix and have a portion of the proceeds from each subscription go towards funding an academy that Boll can teach at and give up on his horrible film career. The great part is that you don’t even need to have to sit down and endure any of his films since Netflix declined to place them on their service. You can enjoy thousands of movies that are much better quality and have more credible plots and story lines for less than eight dollars a month.

-Nobody enjoys seeing a person that is forced to have to beg for money and live on the streets. Nobody likes to see old and crumbling infrastructure either. This organization helps to give homeless people a worthy cause to get behind by tearing down those crappy buildings that they once had to use as a washroom or needed to sleep in for the night. It’s a public/private partnership between slumlords and homeless shelter organizations. Once these eyesores of modern architecture are torn down, the debris is demolished and sent to a nearby landfill to sit and rot for a couple of decades. The empty space is then rezoned as a public space and is turned into parks or forests. This not only helps the environment but gives homeless people more benches and bridges that they’re more accustomed to as their estate of choice. They’re able to live as one with the land and get more in touch with their surroundings and society.

-V.I.P.I. stands for the ‘Vanilla Ice Polar Bear Initiative’. Vanilla Ice started the foundation to help polar bears stay cold and on the ice. He got the idea after watching a global warming documentary which showed that the polar ice caps were melting and polar bears were unable to walk on the ice and needed to swim and eventually drowned to death. Vanilla Ice put his skills as a rapper and a renovation reality television star to good use and created a brand new hip-hop album that discusses renovation tips on how to properly renovate your home. Such tracks include ‘Quartz Cabinets’, ‘Flipping Da Suburbs’, ‘Low Flush Toilets’, ‘Never Want to Be Without My Power Tools’, ‘Ninja Closets’, ‘Drill, Drill Baby’, and a duet with MC Hammer called ‘Here comes the contractors’. All the proceeds from the album will go to help keeping ice cold in the arctic. But wait… that’s not all. Vanilla Ice is not the type of person to just let people give money to charity and stop there. Vanilla’s foundation has the Iceman personally take a trip each year up North and make sure that the charity is working by using the money earned to fly in artificial snow machines that will help to increase the amount of snow present in the North Pole. This is not just some charity that asks for donations. Vanilla Ice takes initiative and does the dirty work himself so that Polar bears can kill seals in the safety of their own habitat.There’s always more fake charities on the lookout asking for donations. Keep a close eye on the non-profit organizations and we’re sure that we’ll find some more charities that we overlooked for their humanitarian aid and ability to gather up money for a worthy cause.

There are quite a few beneficial charities out of the bunch. It will be hard to figure out which charity will be deserving of our hard earned disposable income. If you feel that one fake charity stands tall among the rest of the pack, let us know in the comment section and tell us which fake charity is your favorite out of all of them.

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 17th, 2014 at 3:30 am and is filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.