The month of June has arrived and many people will be taking advantage of the warm weather by hitting the links and enjoying some relaxing golfing action. One man who enjoys golfing very much is professional golfer John Daly. Daly has won two major golf tournaments including the 1991 PGA Championship and the 1995 British Open. Daly remains one of the most popular and intriguing figures on the PGA Tour because of his weird golfing outfits and his personal problems off the tour. Many of his personal problems deal with his battles with alcoholism and marriage as he has been divorced four times already. Another issue that Daly has dealt with is gambling. He claims to have lost between US$50 and $60 million over the past 15 years. Daly’s own health has been questioned many times by critics for his poor athletic appearance on the tour. His love of beer, cigarettes and diet coke has made it difficult for him to lose weight. Here is Daly discussing what he thinks makes for a great diet.

“I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.” – John Daly

[ratings]

Share This

After April showers comes May flowers. This month ,we don’t bring flowers but we do bring to you some blood splatter in the form of the film ‘Tucker & Dale vs. Evil’. Tucker & Dale vs Evil is a 2010 Canadian-American horror/comedy film starring Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine and Katrina Bowden. The plot is about a bunch of college students that are going camping in West Virginia . They meet two lovable West Virginian hillbillies (Tucker & Dale) and assume from their looks that they are a bunch of inbred rednecks who are going to kill them in the woods with a chainsaw. Instead, Tucker & Dale are headed to their “fixer-upper” vacation cabin to drink some beer, do some fishin’, and have a good time. When one of the college kids gets hurt and is taken in by the two men in order to heal her; the other college kids fear for the worse and try to kill the two hillbillies but only end up killing each other in weird accidents. Our quote comes from the scene where the police sheriff shows up and sees a bunch of dead bodies all around the cabin. The sheriff suspects that Tucker & Dale killed the college kids but Tucker tries to explain to the sheriff that he thinks there might be some sort of weird suicide cult killing each other in the woods. Let’s read shall we…

“We’ve had a doozy of a day officer. There we we’re mindin our own business. Makin some improvements to our new vacation home. When all the sudden these kids start killin themselves all over my property. Now, I don’t know about how much experience you’ve had with this kind of thing but me and Dale here, well, we ain’t had any.” – Tucker

[ratings]

Share This

The month of April has arrived and this usually means that most people are preparing for tax season by trying to find those department store receipts hidden under their couches and hoping that they don’t owe any extra money to the big government that will most likely waste their money on some fruitless endeavor. Many people hate tax season and every tax help website that I find usually tries to add a smart joke or two on their site as a way to help their clients deal with the stress of having to file their tax return. We won’t be doing this on our site as taxes aren’t fun and we’d rather tell you in a quote how much they suck rather than pretend they’re some funny little office joke. We had to reach back into the 1920s to find someone for the job but we managed to find a person with a great quote. Will Rogers is a celebrity who was popular in the 1920s-1930s. He was an American cowboy, humorist, social commentator and actor. He was a leading political commentator who spoke about controversial topics such as gangsters and prohibition but was never censored and was adored by national audiences. He ended up being the top paid actor at the time and also dabbled in radio appearances and several newspaper columns. His other passion was aviation having flown to many far reaching destinations and describing these locations to any that would listen. Unfortunately, aviation would also be his downfall as a plane he was flying in Alaska ended up crashing and killing both him and fellow aviator Wiley Post. Here is a quote from Rogers discussing the difference between the sport of golf and taxes…

“The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.” – Will Rogers

[ratings]

Share This

It’s March and with St-Patrick’s day around the corner; it’s only fitting that we try and find a quote about the holiday. While searching for quotes, we came upon a funny one from Mr. Charles M. Madigan about the holiday. Charles M. Madigan is an educator who has also been an author, editor, journalist and columnist in Chicago, Illinois. He worked for the Chicago Tribune from 1979-2008 and was the newspaper’s senior editor. From 2003-2004, Madigan taught at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. He has appeared on C-Span from 2005-2010. Also, Madigan has written several books including one on how the people elected Barack Obama as well as a book about the decline of the newspaper industry. In this quote, Madigan makes fun of the holiday and discusses how religion and drinking don’t necessarily mesh well together…

“St. Patrick… one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.” –Charles M. Madigan

[ratings]

Share This

Key and Peele is an American sketch comedy television program and airs on Comedy Central. The show features Keagan-Micheal Key and Jordan Peele who are both former cast mates on the cancelled sketch comedy program ‘Mad TV’. The show hopes to push the boundaries of race much like ‘Chappelle’s Show’ did several years earlier and can rely on the fact that both comedians are biracial and might be able to get away with certain topics that other comedians (black or white) might choose to avoid in their act. In one of the show’s more popular sketches entitled ‘Obama Anger Translator’, Peele plays president Barack Obama who has hired the services of a translator named Luther to translate some of his political thoughts on important issues so that the average person on the street can understand what it is that the president is trying to tell them. Of course, this idea doesn’t quite work out very well since it seems that the president is laying the smack down on his political opponents with Luther taking the president’s thoughts and translating them to new extremes…

Obama: “First off, concerning all of the recent developments in the middle eastern region…I just want to reiterate our unflinching support for all people and their right to a democratic process” Luther: “Hey all you dictators out…? Keep messing around and see what happens, just see what happens…..WATCH!!!!”

[ratings]

Share This