Delocated is an American television series which premiered February 12, 2009 on Adult Swim. It features a man named Jon who is in the witness protection program and is trying to be killed by a Russian mob family. He uproots his family from the suburbs to New York City and has a reality tv film crew following his every move. As a result, Jon and his family must wear ski masks and have a voice modulator installed to conceal their voice from the public. The show is filmed in a similar fashion to the program ‘The Office’ and features no laugh track. Jon is the main character of the show and is often viewed as being arrogant, horny and full of himself. Even though his life is often in danger, he prefers to hook up with chicks, do stand up comedy and eat submarine sandwiches. Here is Jon giving us a quick thought on how big his balls are…

“That took balls the size of my balls”

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Epic Meal Time is a cooking program on youtube that involves extreme amounts of meat and alcohol in every episode. The show made its debut on October 2010 and releases a new episode once a week. The show has had several celebrities make appearances on the show such as Tony Hawk, Lights and Deadmau5. They are currently signed with Revision3 – an internet-based television network and are in the process of making a pilot episode for the G4 television network. Each episode features host Harley Morenstein describing how epic each meal creation will be and how many calories each meal will total through the use of profanity and hip-hop slang. A large portion of each meal usually contains some form of meat (especially bacon strips) but has also contained other weird food items such as candy, kraft dinner or Jack Daniel’s whiskey. Morenstein ends each episode with his ‘Next time’ line, telling viewers what the group will eat next time, which is usually random and completely irrelevant to the show. One episode features Harley telling the audience what will happen after biting into one of their meals…

“we’re gonna give your sweet tooth a sexual root canal”

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Gatorade is a sports drink that is made by Pepsi Co and is sold in over 80 different countries worldwide. In addition, the company now sells nutrition bars, protein drinks and additional merchandise with the Gatorade logo. The drink was created in the 1960s by a team of researchers at the University of Florida. Gatorade is the official sports drink sponsor of almost every professional sports league including the NBA, NHL, NFL,Nascar and MLB just to name a few. A popular term in sports culture is called a ‘Gatorade Shower’ where a member of the winning team will take a Gatorade cooler and dump it over the head of their head coach in celebration for winning the game. The main goal of drinking Gatorade is to re-hydrate your body after doing any physical activities. In 2010, the company went through a major re-branding after a poor restructuring of their product lines caused their market share to drop by more than 2%. The company now offers a ‘G’ series of product lines which help a person before, during, and after a workout. Furthermore, Pepsi Co has introduced a new low calorie version of Gatorade which they now call ‘G2’. The company has its own sports science institute located in Illinois which is constantly looking at new ways to help replenish the body after doing physical activities. Since June in North America marks the beginning of Summer; here’s a slogan from a company who offers a drink many people like to use to replenish their bodies during the summertime…

“Is it in you? – Gatorade

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Bill Maher is a television host, stand up comedian, political commentator, author and occasional actor. He began doing stand up comedy and appeared on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and Late Night with David Letterman several times. He later got roles in several films such as ‘Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death’ and ‘Pizza Man’. In 1993, Maher became host of ‘Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher’ which was a late night political talk show on Comedy Central and was later moved to the ABC network in 1997. In 2002, the show was cancelled because of controversial comments Maher had made about the 9/11 terrorists. He had said that they weren’t cowards for blowing up themselves on a plane and that the real cowards were the American military for shooting cruise missiles from hundred of miles away at specific targets. He was accused of being anti-military but Maher defended himself by stating that he is a huge supporter of the military but won’t defend the military all of the time if they’re doing something which he feels is wrong.

In 2003, he got a new show on HBO called ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’. The format was very similar to his old show except he had more freedom on HBO to say what was on his mind compared to traditional broadcast television or cable TV. His new show would feature less actors/actresses and more political pundits, columnists,activists and journalists. In addition, Maher is also a political commentator who is a frequent guest on political shows such as ‘Hardball with Chris Matthews’ or CNN’s ‘Wolf Blitzer Report’. Maher is a very outspoken critic or religion and health care. In 2008, he created the film ‘Religulous’ which is a documentary criticizing extremism in religion. Also, he feels that the health care industry and the government aren’t the right people to help give you advice on dieting and that you must be very careful and act and choose by yourself what is the best nutrition for your body and is alarmed by the growing obesity epidemic in America. Maher’s personal life is highly criticized for his stance against marriage as he is a ‘confirmed bachelor’ who enjoys dating smart women but doesn’t see himself getting married anytime soon. One of the end segments of his HBO show is called ‘New Rules’. In this segment, Maher gives a quick editorial on popular culture and politics and finishes off with an editorial comment on a specific topic to finish off the show. Here is one of his ‘New Rules’ quotes for our quote of the month for May…

“New Rule: If you make a plane like the F-22, and it cost $350 million each and then you have THREE wars, and you still don’t use it, you have to admit that the defense budget is really a jobs program. Did we buy this plane as a favor to someone in the office? Is it a supersonic Girl Scout cookie? Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya: who are we saving it to fight? The Transformers? – Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment

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Charlie Sheen is an American film and television actor. He is best known for his roles in the films ‘Platoon’, ‘Major League’, ‘Hot Shots!’ and ‘Wall Street’ and for his CBS sitcom ‘Two and a Half Men’ who’s character Charlie Harper is loosely based around Charlie’s own social life. Sheen was born Carlos Irwin Estevez and grew up in New York City. His family moved to Santa Monica, California after his father (actor Martin Sheen) had finished up with a successful play on Broadway. Charlie would be expelled from high school just before graduation because of poor attendance and grades and decided to try his hand at acting like his father. He changed his last name to Sheen like his dad who had changed his last name to Sheen in honor of the Catholic Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. Sheen’s first role came in 1984 in the teen cold war drama ‘Red Dawn’ which starred Patrick Swayze. He would then go on to do several popular films as noted above before returning to television in 2000 to replace actor Michael J. Fox in the last two seasons of the sitcom ‘Spin City’. Sheen would then get his own sitcom which became Emmy nominated and gave Sheen the distinction of becoming Hollywood’s highest paid television actor by earning 1.2 million $ per episode.

Sheen’s social life has been a complete disaster compared to his film and television career. He has battled with cocaine and alcohol abuse and has been divorced 3 times with one of his ex-wives leaving him because of his ‘violent and abusive nature’. Sheen is a frequent proprietor of hookers and prostitutes and has dated several adult film actresses including ginger lynn and Bree Olsen just to name a few. In 2011, he was dismissed from his television contract with CBS and Warner Bros. and accused creator Chuck Lorre of being a turd, a clown and calling him by his Jewish name ‘Haim Levine’. After his release, Charlie went on to do a comedy tour entitled ‘My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Death is Not an Option’ . Charlie would do some stand up and have his goddesses (two girlfriends at the same time) come up on stage and tease the audience. The tour got mixed to negative reviews. In many interviews, Charlie would come up with crazy insults and catchphrases to those that opposed his views on life and having fun. He would repeatedly be asked if he was high while the interviews were being conducted or if he was still abusing cocaine or alcohol. When asked if he was on drugs; Charlie came up with this quote which we provide for you for the month of April…

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” – Charlie Sheen

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